Reverse the roles a moment since we know that some males in reality are raped, and those rapes are probably even more under-reported than the "traditional" rapes where the female is the victim. If a man was raped, would anyone question how he was dressed? Would anyone say that he was drunk and thus "asking for it"? Would anyone say that "he didn't say no"? I don't think so. So why do we treat female victims in such a manner?
How the victim is dressed is irrelevant. Saying otherwise assumes that no man can control himself when faced with a short skirt or low-cut shirt. Come on. If it were a man victimized, would you say that his clothes were too tight? Too short? No, so let's not go there.
"Was the victim drunk?" Seriously? If she/he can't say no, she/he can't say yes. Don't go there.
NO ATHLETE, no matter how well respected by the community, has the right to take advantage of a another person in any way shape or form.
OK, so let's get off the bandwagon. What do we do about this? We have created a culture where it is acceptable for athletes to do whatever they want and for people to ridicule and put down the victim for any number of reasons. How do we fix this? What should we do? How do we teach our kids to respect EVERYONE and to treat everyone with dignity?
Firstly, I think we need to call the media on every instance we see of them treating women differently than men. Every time we see a talking head on TV refer to a woman as a bitch, a witch, or anything else they wouldn't call a man, call them on it.
If, as was done with Nancy Pelosi, we see a woman being questioned on her role as a mother, call them on it. If they wouldn't question how good of a father a man is, why should the media question how good of a mother a woman is? Mrs. Pelosi was questioned on who would take care of her (then teenage) son while she was running for office. Are you kidding me? Does a teenager NEED a babysitter? Has anyone EVER asked a man that when he was running for a political office?
When we see magazines belittling women or setting them up as objects, call them on it (OK, this one won't change any time soon, but it will never change if we don't speak up).
Email the network or magazine editor, write a comment on their Facebook page, tweet about it in Twitter. Sign every petition you can when you see or hear of derogatory comments made in the media against women. Let the media know that this is NOT ACCEPTABLE. And don't forget to talk to kids about what you are doing, even if the kids are not your kids and are instead your nieces, nephews, cousins, students, friends or children of friends.
When we hear our friends or colleagues making a derogatory comment about anyone, call them on it. This also means that we have to be cognizant of what comes out of our own mouths. Set the right example. Treat people with respect. And if you don't and are called on it, simply admit that you are at fault and try to remedy it.
Contact your school boards and insist that rape education, meaning what rape is and what acceptable behavior is, be included in sex ed. Ask that women's studies, in some format, be included in the high school curriculum. Insist that there be a balance between male and female role models that are studied. Focus on women during March, International Women's month. Class/group projects on female role models should be standard. We study Martin Luther King, Jr. and presidents, so why not spend a little time at all levels studying women? Without women, there wouldn't be any men, after all.
Beyond this, I am open to suggestions. And, when I am less tired, I am sending an email to the superintendent of our schools. Thoughts? Comments? Funny stories to add (not that it's a funny subject)?
This is the third time I'm trying to post the same comment. To me, the rape culture is similar in a lot of ways to the gun culture. it's all about power over. We live in a culture that has, at its very core, a history of one type of person exerting power over another type of person.
ReplyDeleteYou can see this in slavery, rape, guns. Everytime a woman is called a bitch, an african american is called a nigger, a Jew is called a kike, and I can go on.
We women have gotten a tougher rap, because many of us are women of color, jewish, etc.
I'm going to a screening of Miss Representation on Tuesday night. The focus of the following discussion panel is "where do we go from here?" It's not enough that we're horrified at the lengths the media goes to objectify women.
I agree it HAS to stop. It has to stop NOW.